How To Build Successful Relationships That Grow Your Business
By Ivery Keena Castilloux
We measure a business by the contracts that it holds. The same can be said about success in terms of relationships. The more relationships we have and how strong they are dictate what we achieve. Like I have said in the past - success is a team sport. This article will about how to find, grow, and deal with conflict in relationships.
When we first meet someone, we make judgments about their character - we judge a book by its cover. Within those 90 seconds, we communicate via body language, show our character in what we wear, and have our environment tell who we are. It is self-explanatory when it comes to body language and what to wear, however we do glance over the environment factor. If we have 90 seconds to communicate who we are - why not have others do it for us?
It is simple as taking the time to get to know the staff at your favourite places. Much is to be said about John who walks into a place where everyone knows him and everyone wants to talk to him. I have a friend who takes the time to get to know all the owners of the little kiosks at malls. He jokes with them and takes notes about their conversations. If John can remember so and so lost a cat, have a quick conversation, or just say hi - he is able to show that he is caring, lovable, and very sociable.
People only like to be around those that are optimistic and always have a positive attitude. These emotions are contagious - no one like the negative guy. I understand becoming positive is a life changing process for people, and it is not quite as easy as this. There are books and books about this subject.
Set a goal for yourself. A simple goal-tries to be positive for 30 days. Think about it and act upon it. Nothing can be more worthwhile. Can you imagine how powerful this one little change might make in YOUR life?
Listen. Let the other person say something after a while, and actually interpret what they are saying. To show that you are paying attention, nod, look at them, and ask questions when you need to. Ask, "Why did you do that?" Or, say things, like "That's cool!" It has always been said the best conversationalist is also the best listener.
Learn to be effective in conflict resolution.
Take the time to understand the other person's position before advancing your own. If you can see their side and they yours - you have room for a third alternative. This alternative is advantageous for both parties... and sometimes even better than your own.
Remember what is important to others. I had mentioned this in environment, but it is nice to bring a notepad when you meet a client. I say this because every great salesman meets a lot of people and always starts a business meeting with a conversation not relating to the matter at hand. I have heard of a CEO that carried a note pad for over 10 years. Each notepad was dated and full of notes on interactions. This CEO met with someone I know and was able to bring back a conversation that happened years ago. It had a caring effect.
Have a bag of tricks. By this I mean always have something interesting to say or do if a conversation gets slow. I use to be a shy-nervous-introvert (Yes back when I had a pepperoni pimple face), what took me to become the out-going and sociable person was simple. It was confidence, anecdotes, jokes, and a few magic tricks for when the conversation slows down. People tend to choke at the slow points - even more if they are just searching for what to say.
Lastly, watch your body language. Sometimes I know I come off cocky, self-serving, and not caring. Take the time to know when your body language might not be likable. No one likes another peeing on their tree - stick to your vast territory and let others have theirs.
Next time you are eating out, watch, and take notes on how your waitress is acting. She is making you feel like you are taken care of and that she cares.
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